sermon today mentioned that love is not about feelings, but is a decision, and requires sacrifice.

after reading a letter from a friend, with the question, why me?, i couldn't come up with an exact answer on the spot, but a feeling inside me knows of the desire. in life there are so many uncertainties. sometimes too many that we just feel so out of control. but when i take a second look at it, there are ways to work it out. these ways may seem difficult and often unlikely in our current situation, but placing myself in the future, it might not be such a tough measure afterall. the intimidating foresight of the future could be a stumble-block of what is happening now. fear can be a strong motivator (quote from tv series 'dexter').

we live in a world surrounded with fear. fear of death, fear of insufficient means, fear of ill health, fear of the boundless uncertainties. our desire to be in control seems not so plausible in light of such fears.

so we must have faith. know why we make certain decisions for. evaluate them. understand them. and listen to the heart. why me? can be a straightforward question, or it can be a question that stops one in one's track, pausing for a second thought.

i commit this burden to the Lord. may He continue to protect, and provide His abundant grace. God's timing is perfect, and He is in control, not me. so i shall pray, and let God be the judge, for He is my creator and the all-powerful king that controls the stars and the seas.


this christmas period didn't exactly felt like christmas. but im really grateful for my family gatherings, to know who are the ones that i should truly treasure.