Feeling absolutely gutted and disappointed in myself. I can't believe I actually fell asleep and didn't put in the effort to set an alarm clock in case I don't wake up on time. It is these kinds of moments that I know I seriously need to get my life back in order: to sleep on time at midnight, and get up early in the morning to start the day strong. Instead of doing that, my sleep cycle is so screwed up I sleep in through the day. This then snowballed.

Time is something which you can't get back, once its lost. I only have to make up for the time lost, and keep improving. Being impulsive, trying to do stupid things just to prove a point is not the way to go, and I don't want to disappoint others by doing so, because it's just plain stupid. Escaping and avoiding the real issue of the lack of discipline will not solve any of my issues. I need prayer and God more than ever now. I seem to have spiralled down further, moving away further from God. I am angry at myself. I need to pray.



Forgive me.