Before 2005's arrival

*stares the computer screen* I must have forgotten about this place... 16 dec was my last entry?

Well, today's New Year's Eve. It has been an eventful year, full of ups and downs. But I must admit it was an unforgetable year, because it gave a twist to my entire life. My journey doesn't stop here. It has only begun.

Sometimes, when I look back at the year 2004, all the mistakes and wrongdoings I've done just came back to me. It wasn't really pleasant, but I felt encouraged to improve. I realised many things which I wouldn't have if I was any younger, be it in terms of relationships, studies, CCAs, friends, family. I've struggled, but it has to end somewhere, and this very day, is where i cast all my troubles aside, treat them as a challenge to improve myself, and continue to walk the beautiful journey of life optimistically.

There's only less than 2 hours left before midnight, and I want to treasure this very last moment of 2004, because it was significant to me. However, I'm feeling pretty joyful these days, perhaps due to the countless late night sleeps, and the stress of work, and of course, the struggle in my love life.

But I hope that I'll start off the New Year with a smile, the very basic symbol of happiness, even with the saddening news of the tsunami aftermath repalying in my mind as the death toll increases drastically. Life is full of unexpected events. One minute you are here, the next minute something may happen. So I do have to re-emphasize the point to living our lives to the fullest with every single minute.

The tsunami-affected countries have cancelled their New Year celebrations, to moan for the loss of their people. I really do feel their grievances, and I'm planning to donate some of my available belongings to them, mainly in monetary terms. That's the best I could do....

It has been pouring for quite some time today...what wierd it feels when I place my hand outside the window to feel the cool breeze brush against the tiny hairs on my hands. How beautiful the night seems, though I can't see the stars.

Coming to think of it, I really do have to find some time to fufil my promises..=) Let me see...

Oh btw, Happy New Year 2005 to you!

Cheers with love and hope,
The Wanderer's foot path

Knew something was wrong when I woke up. Senses can't be decieving me, because my body feels wierd, somehow weak and lethagic. Crawled out of bed, checked the time, it's 7.15am! Why so early??? I sat up. My head feels heavy.... it took me about 15 mins to clear my foggy mind. Must be a fever...

Went for training at 3pm at Toa Payoh Sports Hall, determined to perspire so that I can recover faster.
Unfortunately only managed to play 3 doubles matches.. Better than nothing =)

The week passed by slowly, and many things occurred which I hoped wouldn't happen. Struggling to keep the optimistic side of me, it dawned on me that sometimes by doing this, pain will only follow. Somehow, I feel that everything in this world is trying to place its weight on me, and I am the only one to carry all the burdens. Perhaps I have not found someone who is willing to share the burden, how depressing that sounds... My dad told me that today's fever most likely be caused by all the stress on me.

The people closest to my heart, my friends, my dog, my family, all seem to drift away from me. Do I have any other choice but to accept this harsh reality. My mother once threatened me to move out of the house if I continue to come back home late again. My parental relationship isn't that smooth. My friends somehow aren't making me feel any better. My dog will never be back. People's expectations of me to work hard in Chinese. My self-decision not to involve in any BGR till I'm 20 (which people tell me that by then most of the girls will be taken, just like the girl who took my heart away)

I miss my dog...

Who would walk this path with me....?

The lonely wanderer

*walks to the computer and rubs off the layer of dust* It's been some time since my fingers lay themselves on the computer keyboard. Life's hectic as usual. Attended the SECDC camp at NACLI for the next cohort of RHYAs (Racial Harmony Youth Ambassadors), and I really have to thank my trainers/lecturers/trainers for their devoted effort in developing my leadership potential further. I was the overall-in-charge of the entire camp itself, though I've attended previous camps similar to this at the same place. It is my fouth time at NACLI, and I could remember what activity is going to happen next just by looking at the programme schedule. But of course, I wouldn't deny that this time my experiences are totally different and I've learnt a great deal in terms of skills, knowledge, PR skills, inspirating others, staying positive, and so on.

What was unexpected during the camp was that I recieved an sms from her, which I thought was not going to happen anyway. It really made my day, although I had to disappoint her by going against my words, due to the circumstances then. Oh well, take everything by your stride...remember, always let nature takes its course. In life, we always face problems, but we should treat them as challenges. Serious or superficial, it's definitely part of growing up. And always keep in mind, there are always friends out there who is always willing to lend a listening ear...

The weather is perfect today, at least for this morning, even though it's quite cloudy. The temperature's not too warm nor cold, simply ideal for sleeping! =)

Lately, I had been dreaming almost every night. They were dreams that made up my worst fears, but gradually became better as the days go on. It is indeed true that dreams are based on past experiences, because I dreamt of people and things that I've seen before. Why not I share with you one of my dreams? I was part of this counter-terrorist secret force on a mission to eliminate the threats causing harm to our country. It all happened in a run-down kampong atap house, where we battled every single breath we had against the enemies. I recalled that I was simply hopeless at handling the sniper because I did not know how to aim. *laughs* What an irony eh?

That's all my mind can think of right now. Will visit later on.

Sometimes its just so difficult to control the emotions.

I could remember the Japan trip, the experiences in class, the late night card playing, and so many others. It was the first trip ever for me to go with my classmates overseas.

Guess I'm an outdoor person. Staying at home all day isn't really suitable for me, because I'll just waste the day like its nothing. I think I shall go to the library now, or perhaps go out for a walk.

Blog later then. =) *struggles to cheer up*