Back from my class chalet at Downtown East. I didn't really sleep last night, except 1-2 hours on the cold hard floor, so I'm feeling weak and not so alert for my training later at 2pm. Was it a mistake on my part? Guess not, I chose not to sleep, but instead share jokes and 'gossips' with my classmates and Michelle (our OGL), who had just finished her A levels, throughout the night.

I don't have much time for this post, as I have to run very soon to school. But anyway, I'm so glad that I had my first bowling experience today! Wasn't too bad I would admit, because I had this beginner's luck surrounding me.

However, there's a downside to this chalet, I could not fulfil my promises to her. I attempted to let her know about it, but seems like there wasn't any suitable excuse to tell my classmates about it. Oh well, there's still a next time. =) Cheer up will ya?

I always had this thought floating about within my mind. I wasn't sure about my efforts in wooing her, because it has always been one-way, just as Mr Sim observed. I understand my problem here, just confused at what to do, because I've set this barrier for myself that I won't fall into the youthful love trap again, but..but I know where my heart lies. Unknowingly, depsite all intervention on negative thoughts, there's still this hidden fear of disappointment, for I do not know what she feels about this, about me. Tough it may seem, but its inevitable.

There have been many instances where I felt her absence, and it's not easy to curb the loneliness that follows behind. I have attempted to divert this thought to other things that I should be concentrating on, although it was quite successful, but the negativeness just keeps dropping by every now and then. Oh well, it still draws down to the most basic, which is to let nature take its course. There shouldn't be a rush in such stuff. So meanwhile, stay happy, at least as best as you could. Nothing is impossible, eh? =)

My family and I went to watch "Mamma Mia" today at the Esplanade at 8pm today. But well, an unfortunate incident occurred on the way which of course neither one of us wanted it to happen. The basement carpark of the Esplanade was fully occupied, so we decided to try our luck at the nearest carpark, which so happens to be the Fullerton basement carpark. Guess what, $5 per entry! Well, I should consider the charges for weekdays, which so happens to be $2.20 per half and hour and thereof!! And here comes the problem, while we were at B1 attempting to get to B2, my father took a wrong turn, and because we were actually quite in a rush, he did not hestitate to look back while reversing. So it happened. We knocked a Toyota car behind us that couldn't react in time. It just came within milliseconds, and 'bonk'! But climax soon dissolved quickly into a resolution, my father just told the other driver that he'll pay for the damages caused, and we drove away. Well, needless to say, the mood within the car wasn't that pleasant, although we kept telling one another to let the matter rest.

BUT surprisingly, my father's car wasn't scratched nor dented in any way, instead, the other driver's 2 wks old Toyota car has a huge dent at the front. My father was suspecting whether the person was cheating him about the collision, because my father's friend tried the same method with another unlucky fella elsewhere and got away with it. Ah, why should I keep prooding over it, it's over anyway. SO LET THE MATTER REST (in peace at least)...

What an early Sunday for me! At 6am, the phone alarm rang, waking all the lazy 'pigs' (me and my two cousins) up by sending a electricution charge through our heads. We've to reach the Suntec City Auditorium by 7.30am to line up in order to get better seats due to the prediction that the population waiting by then will be overwhelming, and of course, we do not want to be held in the TV room. Well what's happening? New Creation is having is first service held here at 9am, and given Singaporeans' expected behaviour, they would be lining up outside waiting to enter the auditorium just to get the front seats. It does reminds me of a concert of lets say 5566, whereby all the fans go crazy over such events and they are so willing to wait outside the concert hall or venue just for the chance of getting as close as they can to their idols. How about some peanuts to think about it? Crazy isn't it? It's just a Church service! Sometimes I do wonder if this is really a Church service I'm attending...

But so much for the day happenings, I do have some thoughts that came along which I think I do have to sit down and consider them. Yesterday I was reading through the Teenage magazine, it did gave me quite refreshing opinions of certain issues, and confirmation of other things too. I've began to feel confused about my feelings. On one side, I was going through my mind on what it takes to like someone. And the other side of it, I do not know what to do for a lot of things. The weather's been wet for quite some time, and I do start to think about her, esp when the cool winds gushes against my face, it's just like a trigger attempting at creating a chain of old thoughts within my mind. Then there will be this emptiness within, searching for an answer. I know where my heart tells me to go, but something's pulling me back from going all out for it. I guess I'll just have to wait for her...

The pastor today mentioned about giving today during the service. He said that if you want to marry, you have keep giving, for giving is a blessing. When you give a gift to your wife, it's not for the thank you that is intended, but rather its the willingness to give that is precious. He continued to mention that when you read certain texts in the bible, you as a husband do not read the verse 'Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord' Eph 5:22, and for the wives do not read the verse 'Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her' Eph 5:25. Husbands as husband are supposed to read the part that concerns them, which is to love their wves, and its the same concept for the wives. I was inspired by this, for I was questioning myself of unconditioned giving. The Lord saves us, and we are to be a blessing to others.

So I told myself that I would keep loving my wife regardless what happens to her. It seems difficult, but I believe that with the Lord, I will achieve that.

Things didn't turn out the way they were supposed to be, and somehow landed me in a state of confusion and depression. I don't know how to handle it, because I have never been thrown into such a situation before. But looking at the bright side of it, at least it's not something worse. However hard I try to forget about it, it just stays in my mind as if it will never forgive me. I hope things will be better, and through this I'm sure I've learnt a great lesson in life, so I must not fall, but instead pick myself up from the ground and start walking again.

The Lord is my Sherperd.

The Old Man

A poem by Jonathan Robinson.

The Old Man

Once long ago, there lived an old man.
He had no money. He had no plan.
All that he had was a horse oh so grand
and he and his horse lived off the land.

The King offered riches for this horse oh so fine,
"I'll give you my money if you'll make your horse mine."
But the old man said, "My horse will not be sold.
he lives with me. He lives free and bold."

The one day the horse was plain gone.
"The horse had been stolen," the townsfold cried on.
The old man said, "Friends, don't look so sad,
Though the horse be gone that may not be so bad."

"You foolish old man, look what you've done.
You had a fine horse and now you have none.
A curse it is and a curse it will be,
you shouldn't have let your horse wander free!"

The horse soon returned with others by its side.
There were twelve now of beauty and pride.
The townsfolk said, "Old man, you were right.
You are blessed to have horses of unearthly delight!"

"I have now 12 horses, yes that is true
but that does not mean I am blesser with them too.
It is too soon to judge, who knows what will be?
Try not to make stories from the little you see."

As it came to pass, the old man's only son
tried riding a horse, just for fun.
Yet he broke both his legs while playing this game
and the townsfolk cried, "Oh what a shame!"

The old man said, "Friends don't speak so soon.
You hear just one note yet you sing an entire tune.
Who's to say what the future may hold?
My son's legs are broken but the future lies untold."

Soon there was war, and the young men of town
were all sent to fight and were shot down.
But the old man's son was saved from this plight.
He had broken his legs, he was forced not to fight.

And the townsfolk cried out, "Again you were right!"
But the old man replied, "Have you no sight?
Only God knows what is and will be.
To live and let live is to live and live free."

It is indeed true that often in our lives we tend to be too quick to judge what events may mean in our lives. Take a small step back and have a good look at the situation. Good or bad, hard to say.

After 3 long days at the Leadership training camp based in Sentosa, I'm finally back home! I've personally learnt much from there. The weather wasn't exactly being very kind during the entire camp, kind of dampening our bodies but not our spirits. And I had an interesting experience which I'll never ever forget. I slept at a public place (at the palawan monorail station) without any blankets or sleeping sheets. Furthermore, it was raining and I felt terribly cold throughtout the night. And it wasn't exactly quiet and peaceful there, because people were sort of partying all night beside our sleeping place.

Today started out with a noisy phone ring, apparently caused by an sms from someone (aiya, li jing la). That was surprising, because I felt annoyed at the phone (seems like I forgot to change it back to silent mode!). =)

It was 7.25 then if I wasn't mistaken, and I walked out of my room and sat at the staircase. I just sat there for like 5 min, decided that I must have forgotten to wash up, so I 'strolled' for like 5 steps to the washroom. Such blurness...

Basically Li Jing came over to my church today to attend the mandarin service at 10am. We were supposed to meet at 9.45am at the aljunied MRT station, but somehow the train felt that it should not travel as fast as normal on Sundays, which could be a reason why she was a bit late. My church teacher heard about the news that she was coming, and he went the extra mile to ensure that we reach the church in the shortest time possible.

After she left the church for her Japanese lesson at Shaw House, my family decided to have lunch at East Point, partly due to Seumas's prescence. I had fishball noodles at the food court named 'Banquet'. Delicious eh? My, I must have been ravenous then.

I took an afternoon nap. I decided that Li Jing could give me a buzz while she had her break so i wouldn't reall oversleep. But unfortunately, I revisted dreamland once more shortly after her call. My bed wasn't pretty comfortable for a start. I slept on the floor. Hard but cooling. But I know it isn't advisable to sleep there, because of the vapor emitted by the ground. I can't explain why.

After which, it was just boredom period. Sat in front of the television set and starely blankly at the screen. Not much appeal. Channel changed. Still nothing interesting. Switched channel. Decided to read some papers and listen to music. Much better. =) Guess life's like that...what to do?

Brilliant day to start with, I walked for 'miles' to the MRT station this morning, but realised that I forgot to bring my shoes along for training at 12pm. Thank God for the smooth journey for all my travels today, because once i arrived at the Queen Street bus interchange, bus no. 170 popped out just in time for me to board. During the bus ride, I met a fellow NJCian named Lynn (I guess I spelt correctly), who turned out to be the one who signed up for the SAC work attachment for STAR programme earlier this year with me (I rejected it by the way). The side gate was closed and we had no choice but to walk the long way in, and she was complaining to me about how the attachment was cancelled in the end due to some unknown reason. We met Zi Wei on the way, and he was telling me that he had to rush because he was late for his meeting, so he ran ahead.

Sometimes things in this world just don't happen the way you want it to be. Unexpected, incidental occurrences appears anytime in our lives, and we have to accept the way it is, for if we remain lingering in that realm of uncertainty as to why it happens, our lives will be troubled. I have struggled with my life for the past 15 years, and it wasn't a smooth journey, times where there were ups, and downs, but I made them as beautiful memories that no one else has, and I'm willing to share them. Whatever paths we plan to take in the future, whatever endings we may face, we shall walk that journey with a joyful heart.

Take every single step with an open heart, regardless of what it may be. I try to view every single thing I do in a positive manner, for it inspires and encourages others and oneself. The best gift is to see the other person smile, esp your loved ones.

For this entire week after coming back from Japan, it's just badminton training and training, but next week when the coach goes overseas, training will cease. Honestly, I'm not too happy with that, because training for sports is meant to be consistent and it has to continue, otherwise, all the effort put into the previous trainings will go down the drain. I just hope that the captain, Andy, will add in a few trainings next week. Of course, these few training sessions will have to be shifted from other weeks. I was wondering, if we wanted the team to rise and become a solid team, everyone must put into their commitment, and certain sacrifices have to be made.

Today's weather has been kind of lovely, reminding me of Japan's climate, with the exception of the temperature! =)

My dog, with the name of 'Happy', on the contary, has brought me constant bouts of depression. I won't blame him of course, because it's his nature to be curious about the unknown terrains around him. I can feel my mother's hidden sadness that goes unexpressed, but I'll pray hard to God to provide her with the strength to overcome it.

Bascially today's training was quite boring, because I am still suffering from the holiday mood. And the floor was so slippery, causing me to almost twist my ankle. I need to build up my stamina and strength again, so I can regain all my skills back and enjoy the game.

Back in homeland

Finally, I'm back in my homeland. Japan was so fun and interesting! I really hope I can go there again soon. Their culture is so so much different from ours, and I'm deeply impressed at their ability to work together that efficiently. They will gather at a common place every morning to do workout together, which is something I seldom see in any other countries. But so much for their way of life, the food there is simply wonderful! Unique and specific to certain areas in Japan, those specialities are definitely the main attraction to the millions of tourists flocking there every year. Luckily, I've bought back some delicacies only to be found there in Japan back here to share with my family and friends. Otherwise, I would be completely in trouble, *grins*

Now its back to council work and badminton training, such boring life eh? I hope I can join the National Youth Team for badminton by the end of next year. But before I do that, discipline must come first. *ponders* Guess its not that far-fetched eh?

Snail walk

Consider a scenario where you accompany a snail out for a walk.
Imagine what you will see, feel, smell, and think.
Has our lives been moving at too fast a pace?
Do we ought to slow down and take a good look of the things around us?
Ponder over this, and you will realise many things that we have missed out in life.